Back to normal, almost

Sven went home and for the first time in over two weeks, we are dog-free! (Except for our own, that is.) I liked both dogs but it's always a relief for them to go home and things go back to normal. You can actually feel the weight  lift off everyone's shoulders as soon as the door closes (sometimes even before the people drive away) everyone sighs with relief and cheers. The kids love it when dogs come over but at the same time, the dogs that come are not well behaved dogs (that's why they come, after all), and it can be hard to live with their bad habits. Even after they are better behaved, it's still nice to see them go home. But soon, the next dog comes along and we look forward to welcoming that dog into our house.

Sven

Watson (not as small as he looks in this picture!)

Now that birthdays (Max's) and Lent and Easter, family obligations, and other commitments are finally behind us, I am excited to get back to normal. To think again about house projects or the continuation of where we left off. I am excited to think about Spring (if it ever decides to come) and look forward to the end of the school year.

I am not even worried any more about my health problems. I feel stupid that I was so worried. Why do I do that?? I sound the alarm every time something is amiss in my health. I hate it and I wish I wasn't like that; I envy the calm and rational people who can keep things to themselves. But that is obviously not my area of strength. What bothers me even more is that it's people that I run to, and not God. No offense to people, but they can't give you what you are looking for and misunderstand your intentions. Not pity, not even sympathy, but an understanding of the fear. But we're too quick to judge one another's actions. It's terrible how we turn our backs on one another in a moment of need. I guess I sound pretty mean and cynical but I don't feel any bitterness, I just know it's simply a fact about us human beings. I think we all can relate to how we tend to treat one another. I too, have been guilty of judging someone instead of reaching out. This recent experience only reminds me that I shouldn't judge the next person that seems to be needy for attention and love.

The coldness of people at least made me turn to God and once I did, once I totally surrendered myself (once again) all control of the situation, I felt peace and I've felt it ever since. Thanks also to a friend who has been good enough to pray for me--she is one of the rare people that does understand, having gone through a medical scare herself.

My arm is still swollen--even more so--but it's no longer a worry. Breast cancer is most likely not the cause, although I still have yet to get the mammogram. It is most likely lymphedema, which is a chronic condition of swelling in the arm and/or leg from draining of the lymph nodes. This comes about from three different causes: Cancer treatment or the onset of cancer, or an injury to the arm. I don't have cancer as far as I know, and I haven't had treatment. So that only leaves the injury to the arm, which happened eight years ago from the PIC line and blood clot. And oddly enough, this condition of swelling only shows up years later. Weird, huh??

The swelling is actually not too bad compared to most (I've been looking at pictures) so I'm not going to embarrass myself by going to a vascular surgeon to complain about it. The only thing that it really gives me problems with is soreness in the joints and some back pain from the weight of all the fluid.

I'm sure that the excursion from working with the two dogs was part of the reason for the swelling. They weren't bad dogs but with both of them together, I constantly felt like I was working against the tide. Or rolling a bolder uphill instead of down. While I would be disciplining Watson for some sort of bad behavior, Sven would be eating someone's meal off the table....and while I would be disciplining Sven, Watson would be acting too rough and rowdy with the kids. It was a constant back and forth struggle. And even though I tried to work with the dogs separately, I had to have them together as well, since they were both so high energy and needed an outlet for their energy. (It worked pretty well--they were so rambunctious with each other that they couldn't be rough with us.)

But they are home, and things are back to normal. Heck, even the weather might cheer up a bit. During this entire fiasco of health scares and rowdy dogs, we had an unexpected blizzard and a school day trapping us in the house for a day. God certainly wanted me to work on trust with Him.

The only problem right now is Henry being sick. He and Anna were pretty sick earlier this week, and although Anna seems to be recovered, Henry is struggling. Every time it looks like he's getting his appetite back, he throws up. I know he'll get better but it's hard on him. So if anyone is reading this, please keep him in your prayers!

And now, I am off to make a "normal" breakfast--without worrying about releasing two hyper dogs out of their kennels and with no worries of cereal bowls being licked out of. Life is good.

Changes

It's been a while since I last posted! There has been a lot going on lately.

The biggest change for me is that I have decided to become a dog trainer! Is that random or what??

Dog trainer. When I hear those words, I immediately think of circus dogs or  nerdy guys with clipboards and doggy pouches attached to them. (Sorry if anyone is offended by that.) However, this is the direction God seems to be leading me in.

The past few weeks a lot has happened; financial things suddenly changed into an emergency making us realize that it was absolutely essential that I find something--something--that I could do to help bring in money.

Dog training was not just something that I picked off the top of my head. Actually, it's the last thing I would have thought of. I had been looking searching for work through online ads and "Monster.com" for something that I could do and hopefully something that would be enjoyable enough for me to feel motivated by. But it also had to work with Dennis's work schedule and still have someone watch the kids, and there was nothing out there.

So we did a novena to Our Lady of Good Success. After all, "success" was what we needed. Not financial success, but something that would pull us out of this financial hole, and also something that I could do successfully and also keep my primary roles (wife and mother), well, primary.
So Dennis and I started the novena, and Day 1 was when "dog trainer" came to mind. I didn't really think much of it as an answer to prayer but just something that I could do "in the future."

Day 2 of my novena, dog training was coming more and more to mind. I kept rejecting it as "too easy". My pride wanted something more important than that. But in truth, I have loved training my dog, Joey. I discovered a real love for dog training and even better, it has totally paid off. I am not a "book person" and have never done well in school, but I totally devoured dog information wherever I could. I guess you could say that God had me start my education early, without even realizing it.

But to do it as a job. I didn't want that. I didn't even mention the idea to Dennis; I was sure he would laugh. But secretly, I began to research what it entailed to become a trainer; how long did it take, how much does a trainer make and so on. The more I read about it, the more excited I became.

dogtrainingclub.com

Day 3 of my novena, I began to realize that this "dream" that evolved within three days could be an answer to prayer for something I could do both for myself and also to help the family. Simple though it was, it was perfect for me. And it wasn't as easy as I had thought. Half of the education comes from experience and hands-on. You can learn a lot from books but dogs are the best teachers.

It's also very versatile, and it would work well with our schedule. As for money, you make according to what you know by education and experience, so the more you learn, the more you can charge. (That's why some dog trainers charge only a little and some charge you a lot!)

Anyway, at this point, I began to look into schools. Most training is done online for dog trainers. It was hard to find one that I could trust and also that Dennis would be convinced was "real" and trustworthy. I knew it was going to take a lot to convince him that this could be the answer to our prayers.

The other problem was money. We don't have it. Here we were in the worst financial slump ever and yet I had to convince Dennis to get ourselves out of it, I would have to go back to "school." After doing more research, I learned that you can go two different ways to become a trainer:

• You can learn everything on your own by reading tons of articles and lots of dog books, volunteer at shelters for hands-on experience and get online certification. It isn't required to be certified in order to work as a trainer, but everyone feels a little better to know that you have learned enough to be certified, and chances are you will have an easier time finding work.
• Or you can go through a dog training school where they will provide all the curriculum and what you need to know and more for you, and then get certified at the end.

For me, it was more comfortable to get my education from people who know what makes a good trainer great, and half the things they say you should learn are things that I wouldn't have even thought of on my own. They send you a "library" of books to study from with online curriculum and tests at the end of every phase. You speak to trainers who mentor you either by phone or Skype, and then you work with a trainer who comes to your area to work with you and dogs.

As good as it all sounded, it still seemed impossible for me because I knew we couldn't make those monthly payments. I needed at least $100 every month to take just the Beginners course--enough to get me started as a trainer (and then hopefully continue education towards a Master Trainer.)

Day 4 of my novena: out of nowhere, I got five rosary sales. All summer long, I have only had one or two sales. Now suddenly, I have enough to make my first monthly payment. I took this as a sign from God to continue. Now all I needed to do was convince Dennis. (By the way, after the five sales, I have not had any since!)


This is where unfortunately, we forgot to continue our novena, however, I felt we had our answer. I continued to pray for direction though. I finally presented my idea to Dennis. By this time, I had done my research on what it takes to become a trainer, found a good trustworthy school, and had a plan to help make ends meet. As I knew he would be, he was skeptical and cautious--but not as bad as I thought he would be.

Now, two weeks later, he is much more on board and even excited about our new plan. I am going to make the monthly payments on my own--trusting that God will provide me with rosary sales or other ways to make the payments. If I can't, my mom--who has been very excited about all this from the beginning--has promised to help if I can't meet a payment.

I have already started my education with an online study guide to get me started and have learned a lot of about puppy socialization. I'm learning a lot what I did not know, and discovering a lot of mistakes that we made with Joey in not socializing him enough. (He is a pretty fearful dog, but we are continuing to expose him to new things.)

Just waiting for the books now, and it's all I can think about.

Every day, I thank God for this new change He has brought into my life. When I realized that I Would have to go back to work, I was scared, because there isn't much I know how to do and there isn't much physically I can do, with my heart. With our complicated schedule and a special needs kid that still needs me to be around a lot, I didn't know how it would be possible to find work that would bring in any money.

I was scared we were going to lose our house, that's how bad it was. I was feeling like a burden to Dennis, another mouth to feed and bump on a log that couldn't do nothing.

But over and over again, God amazes me, astounds me, with His answers when we allow Him to take over our life. When we finally have the courage and humility to say, "You do it."

I am very excited to start this new journey in my life, and all I can say to God every day is "Thank you for changing my life~"