Sometimes you just gotta laugh...

So Max told my embarrassing story about me over-dosing him the other day to his teacher, and he was laughing as he told it. Misreading the entire situation, his teacher immediately reprimanded him and said, "You shouldn't be laughing about this! This is a very serious situation!"

Sigh.

Well, she'd probably be equally horrified to hear that I encouraged Max to laugh and that I was laughing as well.

Yes, it was scary. Yes, it was a serious mistake. But I can guarentee you that I'll be making plenty of them. And one of these days, Dennis will mess up too. (I'm just waiting for it.)

Max didn't know that once I got him all the carbs he needed to have, that I was having a panic attack outside on the front steps, trying to get over the scare. Dennis was on the phone with me, trying to get me to calm down, because I thought I was having a heart attack (I always think that way, sometimes it's hard to tell the difference.)

And he didn't know that as soon as I realized my mistake, everything turned cold inside me and my tounge felt like it got two times too big for my mouth. I thought I was going to be sick. I felt like I poisoned my own son.

I wanted to sit down and cry. I was about to call my mom on the phone and tell her again how imcompentent I am to do this, how one day I might end up making a deadly mistake, and how scared I've been. But just as I was about to dial her number, I thought to myself, how many times am I going to do this? Call mom up and exhaust her with my emotions? I've got to decide from here on out how I will handle mistakes; I can beat myself up over them and cry, or I can chalk it up as a learning experience.

So I put the phone down and we laughed about it. It took the edge of and we felt so much better. And we realized too, how God really is in this. Yes, I may be terrible at this but I am learning. I'm getting better. I can now give (somewhat) pain free shots. Max can prick his own finger and check his own blood. We are getting there. And for the times I mess up, God steps in.

So we are going to laugh at the dark times. We will probably tell inappropriate stories of how close Max came to death and then laugh at the fact that we (his parents) were the ones that did it.

It doesn't mean we're in denial. It doesn't mean we don't understand. We are just tired about crying over it.

Because really, who can live like this? Constantly in fear and constantly on the edge of your seat? I know I can't and I sure don't want Max to live like that either.

So don't be too surprised if you hear me say "Oops!" And then we giggle. As long as Max is still standing upright and talking, he's ok.

Yep.

The first thing we learned in the hospital was how to learn to LIVE with diabetes. Yes, we learned about the scary stuff. But constantly interjected was:

"You're going to make mistakes. And that's ok."
"Don't get hung up on the numbers."
"Get back to a normal life as soon as you can."
"Don't beat yourself up."
"Don't get on Max if he cheats his diet, and for goodness sakes, don't call it 'cheating', call it a choice."
"It's ok to be sad."
"It's ok to process your angry/unpleasant emotions."

But most of all, it's ok to laugh.

We need to laugh. It is good medicine.

Haha, yep, they're everywhere.

So we will be laughing sometimes. And as always, we will be crying some times too. But hopefully, there will be more laughter than tears.

Get used to the inappropriate jokes and memes, people. Pintrest has a whole pile of them just waiting to be used.