I have witnessed a dying friend, thrown a bridal shower for a new sister, went to a funeral, conducted a fundraiser for another dying friend, and now today, lost a friend of ten years over something very little, but she doesn't care enough about our friendship to forget about it.
Today, I am done.
There are days I feel like the Lord has asked too much, until I remember what my last prayer was: "Lord, keep me close to your side."
You can't stay next to God and not suffer a little. But better to suffering in the arms of Jesus than suffer alone.
Today I was driving home and a song came on the radio. The words sang, "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the Name of the Lord."
I have to trust these little changes He makes in my life; the way He takes something out and puts something in. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it makes me uncomfortable. But these things always change me in some way. A death, a broken friendship affect me and my heart changes accordingly. I pray it changes for the better.
But he also adds something back in. A new sister-in-law, a new friend. A happiness in seeing your brother find his soul mate, and happiness in helping plan a wedding. I have never been so unhappy yet joyful all at once before.
Yes, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the Name of the Lord.