Figuring this Greiving Thing out

A while ago, I had posted about our screen porch project. I remember getting my first glimpse into this project back in April, when the snow was melting and Spring was just around the corner. Underneath our balcony is a space of dirt and cement with beams. In my head I saw partial lattice walls and a mixture of plants and flowers growing. I wrote on Facebook, "This is going to be my place of solace."

For whatever reason, I could always count on Sarah to hit "like" on every project I was doing. This is really the only way that I knew her. I didn't know her well in person. We didn't talk on the phone or have email conversations. I felt I knew her through her blog, but the little things like, did she like coffee or tea? Or did she hate both? What was her favorite color? Did she sleep with her feet in or out of the covers? I didn't know the little things of what made Sarah, Sarah.

So our connection was only by Facebook and what she "liked". It was when she hit "like" on my posts that I felt I knew Sarah a little bit more. I wish we had more than Facebook, more than a blog and a fundraiser but we didn't.

Now I'm struggling to finish this patio screen project and my enthusiasm is totally gone. Every time I plant a flower or a plant, I know that Sarah won't see it. I know I won't be getting a thumbs-up approval on Facebook from her.

I know that this is such a little thing to seem sad about. But it just goes to show how much a person affects our lives, in ways that we aren't even aware of when they're living. I think of when a rock is thrown into a lake, or even a pebble. No matter how small it is, it still creates a ripple effect. We're effected by each other.

That's all I have to say today. It's just amazing how grief can hit everyone, even when you didn't know a person that well...