Monday, April 3, 2017

Highs and lows

Life is full of highs and lows. For me, they are happening too close together. It makes you feel like you're caught in a whirlwind of emotions.

The high: working on the remodel of the downstairs bathroom.

The low: no longer working on it for money reasons.

The high: Going to work on my first "client", watching and training a Great Dane puppy. (On Tuesdays only.)

The low: They changed their minds.

The high: Getting closer to finishing school. Making plans for work.

The low: the more I learn about the business side, the more nervous I get that it's going to actually work.

The high: got a lot of sales

The low: Despite the sales, somehow, we are still in large debt

The debt is the biggest thing, it always is. I feel like we never climb out of this hole. It is very hard to do even just the basics and necessities, and when we do, it has to go on the credit card, which makes our debt even higher.

It's discouraging.

The high: We've adopted the Angel Prayer in times of discouragement. I don't know about Dennis, but the prayer always lift my spirits a little:

My God,
I believe, I adore, I hope, and I love Thee.
I beg pardon for those who do not believe, do not adore, do not hope and do not love Thee.

Another low/high: tomorrow is Luke and Max's IEP meeting. I have mixed feelings about this. Working with the school back when Luke's tic was a mystery was difficult. My biggest fault is that I trust too much, too quickly. Assume people will care and then find out the hard way that they don't.

(Sorry, I know this is a downer post!)

There have been some that have been good, some that actually cared. But the ones I expected to care haven't. And the ones that I didn't think would care, did. It reminds me very much of the Good Samaritan story.

And then there's Max. The school suggested that he start going back to school for a few hours day/week. I thought this was a great idea, actually. It will be a good way to transition going back to school.

Yet, it will be hard to share him. I've worked so hard this year with Max. Me and Mom did. We worked hard to bring up his confidence, get him back to where he should have been academically. The school sort of frowns on homeschooling (without trying to be obvious, but little comments come here and there) and I don't want them to ruin what we've done. I hope the IEP will show us what steps to take next.

I will end on a positive note. Luke's tic seems to be fading away gradually. We've noticed that there are times he doesn't tic at all. This is great news, but I seem to be celebrating alone. Oh well.

I am happy. My prayers have been answered. We've weathered our little storm, the storm that mattered to us.

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