Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms out there that feel like they shouldn't be mothers, but they are anyway. That God must have made a mistake when making you a mom, because you feel like you are a terrible mom, but here you are, a mom. Or for those moms that feel like your kids deserve better than what you can give them--but you are still their mom so God must have thought you would be a good mom because here you are--a mom.

Happy Mother's Day to all those moms who want to give up but keep trying rather than teach a bad lesson to their kids. To those moms who sometimes have been selfish but are trying to learn generosity for the sake of their kids. For those moms who clearly see their shortcomings but will do whatever it takes to overcome them to be a better example for their kids.

And happy Mother's Day to those mothers who weren't planning on being mothers but chose to keep the life of their children rather than end it. Those moms are heroes to their children. Those mothers have made the first of many sacrifices for their children.

I've always said it and I'll say it again. Motherhood is designed for sainthood. Although I believe you can become a saint in any vocation, I think Motherhood is probably the fastest way. There is simply no other station in life that pushes you like motherhood. Pushes you to be better, to work harder, to pray more often. I find myself saying more rosaries for my kids than I ever used to. The older they get, the more I pray. I've never shed so many tears before becoming a mother. I've also never gone to confession as often as I do now, until I became a mother--finding and recognizing weaknesses where I don't love when I should. Trying harder to do better and then just to fail again in love.

I don't think I've ever said the words "I give up!" until I became a Mother. Only to make another resolve to try again. My heart has been broken being a mother. But it's also rejoiced over little things and big things--first smiles, first steps, first day of school, first piano recital.

Things have changed since I've become a mother. I've changed since I've become a mother. The world says that you need to "put yourself first" but you can't do that when you're a mother. You don't want to do that. You are happier giving up the bigger portion, or holding off on that hair cut so that your kid can get a needed pair of shoes. You are happy being last if your family is fed and well and looks well cared for.

But do I think God made me a mother because He thought I would be good at it? No. I think He made me a mother because frankly, I'm terrible at it. I'm not naturally self-giving, or selfless. I am not affectionate and I hate losing my sleep (not to mention I'm not a morning person.) I hate making school lunches and never think to put little notes in lunch boxes. I am not the type to volunteer to be a school chaperone just so I can go with my kid on a field trip.

Yet, I love my kids dearly, and God works with that.

I think God made me a mother because it's the best way to learn how to love. It is the best way to learn not to be selfish. It is the best way to be happy with "the better part" which is often the smallest part. He made me a mother, not because He thought I would be good at it, but because it would be good for me. Being a mother will be my way to heaven. Perhaps even, a saint one day. It better be--there's gotta be a crown for this!

I don't think I have ever felt like I've been a good mother. But I do know that I've tried hard to be one. I think that is all God is asking of me. I have to ask for His help often because motherhood is all about love and that is not always easy, to love.

So happy Mother's Day to all you mothers who work so hard to be the best person you can be for your kids. Even when you fail and feel like your the worst mother ever but choose to go on rather than give up on your family. Your kids will learn how to love because of you.