I've given up Facebook for a week, and yet I find myself bursting with news and emotion, so I've started this blog. We will see where this goes and if it sticks around!
Currently in my life, we are about 2 weeks away from moving. We're going through the painful process of selling a house that no one wants; it is not updated enough for most people. I am told not to take the comments personally, but that is pretty much impossible. I can shut and smile like people want me to, but inside, my feelings are always throbbing.
We have been told that the house is dirty. This was my very first showing and feeback criticism. This was the very same day that I spent 6 hours straight with no breaks, cleaning. I spent 2 hours on my knees scrubbing the floors, the old fashioned way. Yep, that one stung.
We have been told there is a "animal smell" in the house. We have no pets!
We have been told the house needs "fresh paint". The entire house has just been repainted.
Overall, we have been told that the house needs updates. This one I will agree with. Well, sort of. What house "needs updates" in order to survive these days? It is somewhat stuck in the 90's; it doesn't have nice countertops or hard wood floors like most homes do these days. We can't afford that though; we choose to feed our kids instead.
Anyway, the price has already been lowered $10,000 in acknowledgment to "needing" updates. Yet, buyers seems to overlook this fact.
My other frustration is that realtors keep hiding our religious items. We have been told to put them away to not offend buyers. I only have a crucifix and a statue of the Blessed Virgin. That is it! I understand the clutter part, but they are entering a HOME not a HOUSE. It will become a HOUSE when we move out. Right now, as long as we are still here and no one wants it, it is our HOME. We are Catholic and have 5 children. How do I explain to my kids why the Blessed Virgin and Jesus are hiding behind our electric fireplace? How do I explain that some people are so narrow minded that the very sight of these objects might offend them? The only person this has offended is ME! My, the irony.
I am normally in a better mood by the way.
We are going to move into a foreclosed house. My feelings on this are very mixed. On the one side, I'm super excited! I can't wait to get into a house that has more space. Like I said, we have 5 kids. My oldest has mild-to-moderate autism. He often has "sensory overload" where he has a hard time controlling himself and needs time to himself. The home we're in now is too small with no where for him to go for some quiet time. The home we will be going to is spacious with a lot of room to offer. I long for moving day whenever Max has his melt-downs.
On the other hand, I dread moving because the house we're moving into is trashed by the previous homeowners. Again, mixed feelings: on the one hand I feel like, poor people, what it must be like to lose your home. On the other hand, thanks a lot for making things harder for us. I mean, I know that was the point, and good job on making your point made. I will go into the details of specially what needs to be replaced in another post. For now, I will just say, that moving into a forclosed house is scary. It is hard enough to be "the new kid on the block", but there isn't one spot in that home that I can think of as clean enough to sit on, lie on or even walk on (without shoes.) There are areas that are dangerous for the kids and we'll have to restrict them to certain areas until those areas are safe.
There is a lot of going on. My life is more than busy.
Like I said, I'm normally in a better mood. I am in a place right now where it's better to be by myself; people have a hard time understanding because there is so much more going on that I can even explain.
And really, is it worth it to go to the trouble to try to get someone to understand? Sometimes, I guess it is. But there are times I think we're supposed to bear the trial alone, just like when you go on a spiritual retreat, you are alone. A trial is meant for spiritual growth and purification; and that usually can only happen when everyone else either is too busy, or just doesn't understand.
Heck, even Jesus didn't want to be alone. "My soul is sorrowful unto death....couldn't you stay awake with me even one hour?"
But the good stuff happens when we finally realize we should have been relying on God in the first place. That can only happen when you find yourself alone.
There are days when life is very hard. But I know it will get better. I never lose sight of that. God gives us hard times for our own good, but He makes sure to give us our times of rest too. I have found a way to use this time for someone else and it's been very healing. I'll share that in my next post.
Overall, I AM excited to move. It's a place full of possibilities. It's dirty and yucky right now, full of "animal smells" and no updates (stuck in the 70s). The carpets are too dirty to even want to walk on. But it's going to be a great house. It will be a GREAT home.
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