Most of you know already that Luke has been dealing with this nerve/tic/cough (we still don't know exactly what to call it), for almost two weeks now. While the cough in itself is no more than a "keh-keh", it is a constant thing, giving him a nauseated feeling in his stomach which makes it hard to eat and sleep.
I tried imitating Luke's little cough (in the privacy of my room, of course), and I couldn't do it for more than two minutes. It was tiring, nauseating and left me breathless. It's hard to imagine what it must be like to deal with it for eleven days now.
For myself, as a mother, I worry. On the one hand, I'm trying hard to stay rational about this, not get carried away with fears and emotions. But I battle them pretty much as often as Luke's tic. My fears are with me all the time. I find myself watching him closely, wondering: "Wait--did he stop there for a minute? I think he stopped!" Only to be disappointed. Or I spy on him, wondering if this isn't perhaps forced. I've never been able to catch him without the tic. I can even hear him through the vents when he's downstairs playing and I'm upstairs.
This won't be permanent--or at least, that's what I'm told. I pray they (the doctors) are right. I pray this will be handled in due time with meds. I pray we won't need to resort to procedures or surgeries.
It's given me a little glimpse of what parents of chronically ill children go through. I am thankful that a tic is not life-threatening. But it is life-changing. It's changed our life in these past two weeks, not being able to go to school because it wears him out so much. Not even being able to sit in a pew at church, because we don't want to get "looks" of annoyance from others. Not being able to send Luke out to play, because I know it will make his cough worse. It's been really hard.
Luke asked me yesterday, "What if people forget to pray for me?" I assured him that they wouldn't. But he persisted, convinced that people weren't praying. In his mind, if prayers aren't being answered, therefore, people must not be praying.
I know that people are praying. But, would you mind praying just a little bit more? Just so life can get back to normal. So Luke can go back to school and regain his color, regain his energy, regain his appetite.
It's been so hard to watch him go through this.