You are loved and noticed!!

Today is Henry's birthday and it sparked a little bit of jealousy among some of the kids. Anna struggles especially, I think, because she is the middle child. She sees that Henry gets that "please don't grow up so fast" attention that us parents tend to do. I don't mean to, but my panic in seeing Henry leaving behind his baby years, toddler years and now little boy years shows sometimes.

I was talking to her today about how important it is to not fall into the trap of thinking we are not loved or as worthy as others. The trap of comparing ourselves to others. The devil loves this trap and lures us in with lies of how much others are loved compared to us, how this person is treated compared to how we are treated, and so on Then comes the feeling of hurt and anger that is so hard to escape from, because it is--well, a trap. Once you're down there, you can't get out. I know this trap well because I have fallen into it often.

I know a person on FB that I used to be close friends with. Not so much anymore, though I would love to be. I don't really have that many friends which is why Facebook is my social life (how sad is that??)  But she is so convinced that no one loves her, notices her, ect, that no one can get close to her. I don't know what has happened in her life and I'm sure she has reason to complain but the memes she passes around...well, let's just say that it makes me want to reach through the computer and shake her. To get out of this self-pity. It makes her look bad. No one wants to "like" someone's post that continually puts humanity down and raises animals up as the only trustworthy species.

Now I have this junk on my computer...must delete!

Boy, I could go on and on about "I love dogs more than people"--don't even get me started! It's people that live like this, that believe these lies, that shun others aside. It is attitudes like this that causes loneliness and depression and even suicide. Because we were made for EACH OTHER...to love one another. And when you can't get in because someone refuses simply because they are feeling sorry for themselves...well, it gets me mad, in case you can't tell.

So anyway, getting back to what started all of this...me and Anna had a little talk. She has a big heart, a heart of gold, and gets hurt very easily. She counts all her hurts. ("Today this happened to me, and yesterday that happened to me...") I worry about her falling into the trap of self-pity that I have fallen into--that so many fall into. (What, you think I'm down there by myself???) I worry that this will become such an ingrown habit that it will become a way of life for her.

So I bounce between the tough love of kicking her in the butt  to assuring her that she is loved and noticed. It is a balancing act and sometimes I do too much of one thing and not the other...I want her to know that she is heard and that yes, feelings get hurt. But I don't want her to dwell on them. I want her to practice cheerfulness, because that is what saves us from depression.

(Notice I made this meme X-large??)

I think often about these women who join Mother Theresa's order. It is a dream for so many to do as she has done--to go out and serve "the poorest of the poor", to save the dying sinner, or feed a starving child.

But I also wonder about the reality check they go through. Waking up at 4 in the morning, living with only 10 minutes of electricity. Living  as the poor do. Eating just enough to keep you going. Watching so many die in your arms and being content that your "little bit" is all you can do. They could feel very sorry for themselves; seeing their limitations and their total dependence on God. But they don't--they are too busy loving the poor, and that makes them happy.

So, I prod and poke Anna to be content in her life just as I prod and poke myself. I want to prod and poke this person on FB to quit feeling sorry for herself, but instead, I invited her out for lunch (to which she still has not responded). If she is so lonely and feels so betrayed, maybe she needs a human--not a dog--to reach out to her.

We have to keep reaching out to others regardless of being hurt. Let's keep trying to work on forgiving. I know, I sound preachy, but it's what I wish to say to people but I know they will shut me out because they don't want to hear it.

Let's thank God for the wonderful gift of animals and learn from their continual unconditional love regardless of how humans have treated them. But let's never put an animal over a human. There are people out there killing themselves, jumping off of bridges, overdosing on drugs, because they do not feel loved--because so many shut them out for fear of being hurt.

The biggest lie and deception is to believe that we are not loved. No, we cannot shine all the time. Sometimes, it has to be someone else's turn. Let's pray that we can be so generous to thank God for  their moment in the sun, their moment of reprieve of their current suffering to enjoy some happiness. It's what we would want for ourselves, right?