Worries

One of my big concerns right now is trying to teach Max how to self-manage his own diabetes and I often wonder if I'm expecting more of him than he can do manage. At the same time, I don't want to ever under-estimate him. I don't want to limit him because of my own worries and fears.

True, we are only a month and a half in since his diagnosis. Maybe I'm expecting too much at this time. But knowing Max as I do, my worries are not completely invalid. This not just a nervous-mother thing.

A couple examples:

• This morning I asked him to check his blood sugar. He said ok and got his medical bag while I made breakfast. When I looked over, I saw him holding his insulin needle. He was about to inject himself without first checking his blood sugar AND inject himself without setting or knowing what the dose was first.

• Yesterday he primed the needle (squirting out excess insulin that has been sitting too long between doses) and then nearly primed again, wasting his insulin dose. He probably then would have (out of habit) simply poked himself with no insulin, thinking he had dosed himself without actually doing it.

• The day before yesterday he did the same thing.

• The day before that, he did the same thing again. 

• Yesterday when we left for church, I found his diabetes stuff all over the couch but his medical bag missing. I found him waiting for me in the car. I asked him if he had his medical bag and he said yes. Then I asked him if he had anything in it (wanting to know if he realized it felt unusually light) and he said yes. I then showed him all the stuff he left behind. 

And then there are the smaller issues, but still important, about him leaving needles lying around, throwing them in the garbage (a big no-no), leaving dirty test strips around, and being careless about his needle when holding it (he tends to wave it around, making me nervous he's going to accidentally poke one of the visiting dogs in the eye. They tend to always want to see what he's doing with the bag and hover around him.)

It is what it is. That's all I can say about things that I have no control over. I believe that one day Max will be able to manage his own diabetes. But sometimes when the unexpected comes up, like it did the other day, those are the challenges that Max could find difficult to manage. All I can keep telling myself is that that "one day" will eventually come.