I'm still very new to this dog training business, so maybe it's too early for me to say this, but I'm finding out that there is a very lonely streak in dog training.
One of the dog trainers I'd come to know (by Internet) and admire killed herself back in 2014 due to depression. When I Googled a little more information about her, I was led to an article that said that the that the mortality rate is high among dog trainers.
If you're surprised, so was I. But now I'm not. That's not to say that I condone suicide or anything like that. I know there are tough jobs out there. Caretaker jobs, probably the hardest of all, I would say.
But because dog training is "the lowest of the totem pole", and your just working with dogs, people have this expectation that you should just "fix" their family friend like he is a robot dog or something, and there's very little respect for the trainer. We are just used like a wrench to simply tweak something in their dog, and set aside.
The advice that we put out there is listened to but hardly ever followed, which means there is very little progress in the dogs training. Instead of taking the responsibility, the owners blame the dog trainer. After all, we were supposed to fix their dog.
One of the big ones for me--communication starts off nicely in the beginning of training, but then somewhere in the middle, it stops. I think this is my biggest pet peeve. Emails go unanswered and you wonder if they are even listening to you anymore. I always feel like I am talking to walls. There is so much work put into a dog--both mental and physical. Working with dogs is like trying to communicate with deaf but without knowing any Sign Language--you have to kind of figure out how to communicate on your own.
And then you also have to communicate with the owner, who has to communicate with their dog, in order to understand the dogs behaviors. Except that they still don't understand that all their dogs bad behavior is coming from them--the people--usually from too much affection. But it couldn't possibly be from too much love, right? How can you love something too much?? It's so hard for people to understand how easily dogs get screwed up from too much reward for doing absolutely nothing, other than looking cute.
The dog that I'm working with--Buddy--is a whole different sort of dog. I'm used to working with out of control, high energy dogs. Not this one. This one is used to sitting on his butt and being waited on all day. He has some anxiety in the car that I'm working on and he tends to be timid. But I was beginning to wonder what was wrong with this dog, if anything.
Then I found out. When his owner came to pick Buddy up yesterday, Buddy was so excited to see her and as usual, jumped all over her in excitement. Joey also came up to say hello. He and Buddy actually get along just fine. But when Joey wagged his tail and received a pat on the head, Buddy showed a side that I had not seen from him before and he went CRAZY.
He viciously barked and growled at Joey and Joey, being taken by surprise, began to bark angrily back. I've never seen Joey behave like that before--I've never seen him get angry, ever. But, in this case he did, and he was in his right. This dog was acting like a lunatic.
His owner told me that Buddy acted like this around their puppy and some other dogs. "I worry about the older dogs," she told me. "I worry they will get mad at him and hurt him."
Oh, you mean correct him?? 'Cause this dog needs it!
It's like saying that you don't want to say "no" to your child. Or you don't want to make rules for him. If you're going to treat your dog as a child, then you should also set up rules for him as well.
Buddy is a sweet dog but dominant over his owner. His owner has given him so much love and affection for simply being cute that he gets jealous if she gives other dogs any sort of attention.
My frustration is that I'm not sure I can get his owner to see where she takes a part in this. I also can't fix this unless she is willing to be the one to correct her dog. This is where I find it so hard. I'm not supposed to get personally invested in this stuff, but I do. I think you sort of have to, if you're truly going to get the job done. But at the same time, a line has to be drawn on how much you're going to do, how much you're going to communicate. I know this. But it is hard to step back and let go.
I went from one dog owner who stopped communicating with me (but still was nice to me in person so I don't think she was upset with me) to another. And I think the reason is that I hit them over the head with the truth and it's a lot to take in.
I don't think dog trainers should become so discouraged and depressed that they want to kill themselves. But I do understand how they feel cut out and trodden down from people the want to help. I do see how dog training can become a very isolating and lonely thing. You are "the dog person" or the "dog lover" and assumed to be happy as long as your with dogs.
But I'm not. I'm in this for the people, who love their dogs. I love dogs just fine but I do not go gaga over them. They are just dogs, like the birds are just birds. One of God's creatures. I'm happy to help because animals are easy to train--but people are not.
So maybe pray for me. I continue to ask God what His will is. If this is truly what He wants. I am happy training but not happy with people. They are difficult.
And it's lonely too. That, I will admit. Who knew? Dog lovers always look so happy.
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