Back to normal, almost

Sven went home and for the first time in over two weeks, we are dog-free! (Except for our own, that is.) I liked both dogs but it's always a relief for them to go home and things go back to normal. You can actually feel the weight  lift off everyone's shoulders as soon as the door closes (sometimes even before the people drive away) everyone sighs with relief and cheers. The kids love it when dogs come over but at the same time, the dogs that come are not well behaved dogs (that's why they come, after all), and it can be hard to live with their bad habits. Even after they are better behaved, it's still nice to see them go home. But soon, the next dog comes along and we look forward to welcoming that dog into our house.

Sven

Watson (not as small as he looks in this picture!)

Now that birthdays (Max's) and Lent and Easter, family obligations, and other commitments are finally behind us, I am excited to get back to normal. To think again about house projects or the continuation of where we left off. I am excited to think about Spring (if it ever decides to come) and look forward to the end of the school year.

I am not even worried any more about my health problems. I feel stupid that I was so worried. Why do I do that?? I sound the alarm every time something is amiss in my health. I hate it and I wish I wasn't like that; I envy the calm and rational people who can keep things to themselves. But that is obviously not my area of strength. What bothers me even more is that it's people that I run to, and not God. No offense to people, but they can't give you what you are looking for and misunderstand your intentions. Not pity, not even sympathy, but an understanding of the fear. But we're too quick to judge one another's actions. It's terrible how we turn our backs on one another in a moment of need. I guess I sound pretty mean and cynical but I don't feel any bitterness, I just know it's simply a fact about us human beings. I think we all can relate to how we tend to treat one another. I too, have been guilty of judging someone instead of reaching out. This recent experience only reminds me that I shouldn't judge the next person that seems to be needy for attention and love.

The coldness of people at least made me turn to God and once I did, once I totally surrendered myself (once again) all control of the situation, I felt peace and I've felt it ever since. Thanks also to a friend who has been good enough to pray for me--she is one of the rare people that does understand, having gone through a medical scare herself.

My arm is still swollen--even more so--but it's no longer a worry. Breast cancer is most likely not the cause, although I still have yet to get the mammogram. It is most likely lymphedema, which is a chronic condition of swelling in the arm and/or leg from draining of the lymph nodes. This comes about from three different causes: Cancer treatment or the onset of cancer, or an injury to the arm. I don't have cancer as far as I know, and I haven't had treatment. So that only leaves the injury to the arm, which happened eight years ago from the PIC line and blood clot. And oddly enough, this condition of swelling only shows up years later. Weird, huh??

The swelling is actually not too bad compared to most (I've been looking at pictures) so I'm not going to embarrass myself by going to a vascular surgeon to complain about it. The only thing that it really gives me problems with is soreness in the joints and some back pain from the weight of all the fluid.

I'm sure that the excursion from working with the two dogs was part of the reason for the swelling. They weren't bad dogs but with both of them together, I constantly felt like I was working against the tide. Or rolling a bolder uphill instead of down. While I would be disciplining Watson for some sort of bad behavior, Sven would be eating someone's meal off the table....and while I would be disciplining Sven, Watson would be acting too rough and rowdy with the kids. It was a constant back and forth struggle. And even though I tried to work with the dogs separately, I had to have them together as well, since they were both so high energy and needed an outlet for their energy. (It worked pretty well--they were so rambunctious with each other that they couldn't be rough with us.)

But they are home, and things are back to normal. Heck, even the weather might cheer up a bit. During this entire fiasco of health scares and rowdy dogs, we had an unexpected blizzard and a school day trapping us in the house for a day. God certainly wanted me to work on trust with Him.

The only problem right now is Henry being sick. He and Anna were pretty sick earlier this week, and although Anna seems to be recovered, Henry is struggling. Every time it looks like he's getting his appetite back, he throws up. I know he'll get better but it's hard on him. So if anyone is reading this, please keep him in your prayers!

And now, I am off to make a "normal" breakfast--without worrying about releasing two hyper dogs out of their kennels and with no worries of cereal bowls being licked out of. Life is good.