Flus and other trials

So today Watson went home. This is a good thing only because two dogs was very difficult to handle for two weeks. We are now down to just Sven and it's much easier. (Overall, Watson was a good dog, just too much energy for us to handle at times!)

I thought things would get easier this week with us being down one dog but, except for training, things have gotten harder. Let's see...we had an unexpected snow storm the day after April Fool's....and then a snow day. Don't get me wrong, I love a snow day and having the kids home, but not right after having them home for Spring Break the week before. Just when I breathed a sigh of relief of having the house to  myself to train dogs without distractions, everyone is back! And on top of that, Dennis was called into work, so I had five kids and four dogs to deal with.

And then, last week, my hand started to swell up. I don't know if this is a Providential thing that it just happened to swell on Holy Week...or if it's a lack of faith on my part that I just said that. I don't want to blame it on God or anything, but it was strange. It started swelling early in the week, and on Holy Thursday I had it looked at by the doctor. She didn't know what to make of it but she could see I was really worried about it, so she had me get an ultra sound to look for blood clots, which there weren't any. We made plans to meet again a week later to see how it's going.

So over the weekend, and throughout the week, it's continued to swell. Not in the same way like how it swells when you have an injury when it's big and black and blue. It is just simply one hand that is bigger than the other, and it's puffier.

From last week

This week, the functionality of the hand is going down. It's getting harder to grasp things and my hand is clumsier. I have been dropping a lot of things. It's hard not to be worried.

And then today, out of the blue, two kids got sick. I know it's incredibly selfish of me--but I am an honest person even if I am selfish--but it was hard letting the kids stay home. Because I still haven't had a moment to train the dogs without people around--and on top of that, the kids needed me which cut in to training time. And then a third kid got sick and I assume it will just continue.

The worries of a mysteriously swelling arm is distracting to me, and it's hard to focus on sick kids and unruly dogs. I continually put this in our Lady's hand...it would be amusing to some if they could see what I imagine in my head as I give "Mary my arm" and she is sitting there holding it. But yep, that is what I imagine when I find myself getting really worried and anxious and it helps.

I had a thought the other day that God has gotten me through difficult things and that just because He sends us a trial here and there doesn't mean He leaves us to it and to suffer alone. If anything, He is closer during that time, holding us up and trying to teach us something important.

Tomorrow I go to my doctors appointment to see if I have breast cancer. Let's see if my sufferings will decrease or increase.