Sacramental prep. It's hard work. I feel like I'm slipping in this department, of helping my kids become "ready" to receive Jesus. Are they ready? Do they understand? I mean, really understand, not just coasting through it?? But then, who truly can understand the Mystery of Jesus becoming real food and drink? It's bizarre, isn't it? And yet, it's true and we somehow have to tell them it's true.
And Confession. For my kids, this is more about a case of nerves. Will the priest yell at me? Do I really have to tell him everything?? Why can't I just say sorry directly to God??
And last, "the blank stare." The stare I get when I think I may have said too much, pushed too hard. Somewhere, I've lost them somewhere back at "mortal sin' and "Consecration." I get the "deer in headlights" look and they don't want to admit that I've lost them, or that they are confused. They just want me to stop talking.
It's no wonder the moms can get so easily caught up in the dresses and veils and gifts. This is the easy part, the fun part. Although I try to stay away from it (I know I will get caught up in it, I did this with my wedding), it is tempting to focus my "prep" on just the external, not the internal.
But of course, I still have the dress (Lucy's hand me down Holy Communion dress) and the veil. I have yet to get a gift. I still plan to throw a small party. So I was looking in Etsy and couldn't find a single thing that either wasn't too ordinary or too expensive. I saw a prayer journal that I liked, it can be personalized "_____'s Prayer Journal." I liked the idea of a prayer journal, and I could see it in Anna's hands, "Anna's Prayer Journal" but still, I scrolled past it to look for something better.
Finally, I gave up and prayed, "Lord, there is just nothing out there that I can give her. The best gift I can give her is You."
Huh. It is true, isn't it. I stopped and thought about my words and thought to myself, this is all I really need to do, just lead her to You.
And yet, I would like to give her a gift to commemorate her First Holy Communion, something to help her remember that day. As I was scrolling through all the items, the prayer journal came to mind again, and at the very same moment, the prayer journal suddenly popped into view (it must have been listed twice.) And so, I will be giving her the prayer journal, hoping it is used, hoping I won't find it on the floor like I find the other gifts. Hoping I won't find it blank. Not that I will be peeking. Haha.
We tend to think of weddings as being the biggest day of our life, but really, it's Holy Communion. Nothing can top God becoming one with you.
One month and counting until the big day...
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