Thursday, March 15, 2018

Our Lady of Hope

Yesterday, while in the Atrium at our church, I saw a picture of Our Lady with a dark sky and blue dress with gold stars. As usual, when I saw this, I felt like I was revisiting something familiar (which I will explain more about later.) I've seen this picture before, in various forms, sometimes on Facebook. Everyone loves the picture but no one knows what the picture is about.


It is Our Lady of Hope and she has quite an interesting story behind her name. First, very quickly, I will explain why this picture resonates with me so much.

When I was in my coming out of my medically induced coma back when I had my heart attack, I relapsed for a short time because of some infections that I had (mainly pneumonia.) I couldn't wake up, although, when people would call my name and tell me to open my eyes (which I tried, but was not really able to do so) and so I would end up going into this dark place which I can only guess was deep in the recesses of my mind. It was not really a dream and yet it was not reality either. So to this day, I hesitate to call what I saw a "vision" since I still can't really explain where I was or if what I was seeing was truly real. I have to take into account that I was heavily medicated and I had many hallucinations (after I woke up.) Ask me someday about the monkey running around my hospital room.

But regardless of dream or reality, I would always wind up back in this dark, cold place. It had stars and a strange sound that I can't describe. The best I can do compare it to is like being in outer space. Except I wasn't floating.

I was sitting, always in a huddled fetal position, because I was scared. I couldn't wake up and I didn't know where I was. I didn't really understand that I was asleep, but I did know that I was somewhere where people couldn't go. And yet, I would hear their voices calling me all the time (my family, telling me to open my eyes.) Automatically, I would obey their calls, because I really wanted to get out of there, but as I said, I was never really able to fully wake up, and so exhausted, I would go back to sleep and wind up back in that dark, cold place.

And then, this woman began to appear to me, except, I could never see her face. She was very tall and filled up the whole sky. She had a dark blue robe with gold stars on it. She never spoke to me but somehow, I wound up inside of her cloak and this is where I stayed, by her feet.

A little bizarre, when I think of it now, and yet, it was very comforting to me at the time, and still is to this day. I didn't know who this woman was, my brain was not really able to form thoughts. I could only feel emotions and cold (I don't think I was covered very well in my bed. They only covered me with a top sheet.)

Anyway, this went on for a long time, where I go when the voices called me--although now, I didn't want to wake up--and then afterward, return to my safe haven. I was warm and comfortable in this place, hiding within her robe, and every so often, would peek out to see if the darkness was still dark (which is it was) and so after a while, I just stayed where I was, resting and comfortable.

It was only until much later that I learned my family was praying to Our Lady making many novenas. When I look at my CaringBridge journal, I see they jotted down their prayer request to everyone, asking our Lady to "cover me with her mantle." And she did!

When I saw this picture years later, it hit me with a jolt that I had seen her before. The dark sky is the same, the dark blue mantle and gold stars are the same. I wanted to know her name--did she have a title? No one seemed to know until finally someone did know--Our Lady of Hope, is her name. How fitting is that! Hope, when everything seemed so hopeless to my family. The doctors were preparing my family for "the worst" and everyone was losing hope. Little did they know that Our Lady of Hope was coming to spend time with me during this horrible time.

My experience has really changed my perspective on patients in comas.  I know now, that it's very possible that they are awake in some way, in a way that people and doctors don't yet understand. I was lucky to be able to remember my experience to tell people, but a lot of coma patients don't remember. For the rare times that I have known someone that has a loved one in a coma, I tell them to talk to them, and for Pete's sakes, cover them with more than just a sheet!

Seeing the picture of Our Lady of Hope compelled me to search deeper to learn the back round of the story. And for those of you who don't know it, here it is!

It happened in 1871, January 17th. A woman appeared in the sky, clothed in a dark blue veil with gold stars, with a gold crown on her head. Only six small children could see her, not the adults. One of the mothers of these children said they should call one of the religious Sisters that they knew to come see the vision, because she would be able to see it since she is "holier than the children." (I love that this didn't happen!)

After this, two small white crosses appeared on either side of her and she held in her hands a large red cross, with the inscription, Jesus Christ, which she looked at sadly.

The in gold lettering, messages began to appear in the sky, which the children read aloud for the adults:

"But pray my children!"

"God will hear you in a short time."

"My Son allows Himself to be moved with compassion."

It was the children that read these messages to the adults, who had all gathered around them. There was a large crowd gathered, with priests and religious included, praying litanies, the rosary and singing hymns.  One of the Sisters cried out, "Mother of Hope, name so sweet, pray for our country, pray for us!" And so the title of Our Lady of Hope stuck.

The red cross disappeared, and our Lady smiled at them. Then a white veil appeared which slowly covered her from head to toe, and she disappeared.

Was it our Lady of Hope that appeared to me and interceded for my family? I'm grateful for their prayers, and touched, to think that they and everyone would pray so hard for me. Even eight years later, I'm moved. This sort of thing doesn't just disappear in time, but maybe, grows fonder.

I apply those messages that she spoke to the crowd in my own situation, when things looked grim, when I was fading away, and doctors were telling my family to start to prepare themselves, that Our Lady of Hope was telling my own family, though they could not hear her:

"But pray my children. God will hear you in a short time. My Son allows Himself to be moved with compassion."

And little did they know, that she stayed with me during that time.

There are just so many bad things going on out there and sometimes it seems that God isn't listening. But my own story reminds me that He is. Sometimes my own lack of "holiness" and my sinfulness stops me from asking for His help but then I remember that He "allows Himself to be moved with compassion." So this gives me hope. I hope it gives you hope too--this is why I wanted to share!
In all situations, and especially with the world today, we have to keep up hope.







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